Michael Cohen’s Lament


I’m trying something different here.  I don’t think Weird Al has anything to worry about, though.  Put suggested improvements in the comments.

Sung to the tune of “Stormy Weather,” of course.

Don’t know why
She ever had sex with my guy
Stormy Daniels
All the sleazy things we did together
Now I’m being raided all the time

My files are bare
Gloom and misery everywhere
Stormy Daniels
They’re gonna put two and two together
Making payoffs all the time

Everything seemed to be OK, ‘til the Feds walked in and met me
If I refuse to flip, I fear the law will get me
I have to pray that POTUS will pardon me
Stay out of jail some more

Can’t go on
If my law license is gone
Stormy Daniels
Can they stop us from working together?
Worried that I’ll do time

I walk around, heavy hearted and sad
News cycle comes around, I’m still feelin’ bad
Charges pourin’ down, the boss is getting’ mad
This Avenatti gloatin’, smilin’ and crowin’ gets me mad
Sex, sex, sex, sex,
This fixin’ is just too much for me

Can’t go on
If the attorney client privilege is gone
Stormy Daniels
If you put crime and fraud together
Like I did all the time

“Stormy Weather” was written in 1933 by by Harold Arlen and Ted Koehler.  It was originally recorded by Ethel Waters:

It has been covered many, many times over the years. maybe most notably by Lena Horne, who recorded it a few times, including in the 1943 film of the same name:

Here’s another stellar version by Billie Holiday:

And it is hard to argue with Ella Fitzgerald’s take on the song:

There’s also this:

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